Monday, February 14, 2011

Hives in Korea: Hive Genocide

I have been reading a lot of Hive Testimonies, and have decided to try to kill the Hives before they kill me. 

My Plan of Action:
Attack the Hives from within by eating a controlled diet of fresh vegetables, breads and water. After weakening the adult male Hives, I will then send in a second wave of fresh fruits and exercise to ruthlessly slaughter the women and children Hives, thus preventing a new generation.
Food Journal:
January 29, 2011
Peanut butter (Skippy, Peanut Butter, Smucker's Goober Grape), Bananas, Berry Berry Jam, Bread, Water, Milk
January 30, 2011 Woke up with a sore throat 
bread, Peanut Butter, banana, water, Skippy, zucchini, mushrooms, cinnamon bread. Berry Berry Jam
January 31, 2011 Woke up with a sore throat 
Bread, Skippy, Berry Berry Jam, Water, Sunkist Candy, zucchini, mushrooms, egg, banana 
Going to bed with what I believe to be a cold
February 1, 2011 Woke up feeling great 
Bread, banana, egg, water, coffee, Sunkist Candy, Apple, Skippy, Berry Berry Jam, zucchini, mushrooms, tomatoes 
Going to bed with a sore nose from it running all day (get it? sore... from running?)
February 2, 2011 Woke up late and great 
Bread, Skippy, Egg, Water, apple, UH-O!!! Hite, Cass, German something, Jager, Pizza (with everything), pickles, nuts, salad
Thought I was itchy, but too drunk to say for sure
February 3, 2011 Woke up with a headache, no runny nose though 
Mushrooms, tomatoes, egg, water, orange juice, JAYUSIGAD candy bar, Coke, Skippy, bread
Feel good, no signs of the hives
February 4, 2011 I think my hives are almost completely gone 
JAYUSIGAD candy bar, coke, egg, German sausage, spicy onion salad, mustards,
February 5, 2011 
JAYUSIGAD candy bar, Korean Foods, more Korean foods
I think i'm OKAY.

I believe all Hives to have been successfully annihilated. However, I have heard rumors of survivors. My body and I are constantly on the look-out for any trace or clue to their existence, but any evidence found thus far has been inconclusive. My eyes are peeled.

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